My E diary!!

Feeling really really tired, i hope and pray that i really can just collapse seriously and maybe it might help revitalise my body abit.

I went in Sg with a cheerful heart ytd thinking that i just need to send her home as she is feeling very sick. but i guess things weren't really planned.

went in right after i left the competition venue, then i went to collect the christmas gift that i have prepared which i will give it to her i also don't know when.

then i went down to the salon, to collect my pay, but my pay wasn't collected, instead, chantel spoke to me, and told me about things that has been passing around the salon, don't know if its just rumours or what. but she told me that lots of ppl alr know that she is with another person, the worst part will only be kept to myself. i couldn't believe what she told me, and of course i don't want it to be true too. but the things that she brought up to set me thinking was spot on, and also the way she told me was damn bloody confident of herself, that's why it sets my mind into uncertainty state.

if she can speak up and explain herself, i will definitely choose to believe her more than anyone else. but of course she muz give me a convincing explanation too. sometimes, i am tired of deceiving myself, there are things that i knew all along, but i chose to run away from it and deceive myself. should i continue doing that?

it really pains my heart when i saw her in such a bad shape ytd, she looks so weak and uncomfortable. my heart just sank all the way to the bottom, how i wish i could be there for her. and don't know which idiot called that irritates her till i saw her tears rolled for the 1st time ytd. i did asked her who is it, but i guess she won't be like what she used to be alr, she won't tell me much i guess. everything seems to be different now alr, i really don't think i can bring the feelings back to her, i really see the image of our future fading day by day....

goodbye diary.